September by Tamika Sims
September of 2013, I had an experience that altered my life’s course. Yes, in the last three months of the previous year, something new and different occurred in my life. I received an invitation to attend a statewide book club conference, nothing unusual there, I’m an author, so meeting book clubs in my area, is natural. Initially, I thought attending this event would be a great opportunity to get my name and face out there. When I got there, something else happened for me, God had other plans. The title of the workshop that set me on course was “Nailed It!” In it, the speaker was discussing among other things, how to rid your life of mediocrity. In the midst of her speech, my mind traveled down memory lane as I began to think about some of the areas in my life in which mediocrity had crept in and taken a seat. I thought about finance, physical health and wellness, mental health and wellness and spirituality. In all of these areas, I realized it was time to do some reevaluating, all of which were necessary- none of which would be easy.
That particular Saturday morning, my journey began and it has not stopped. I decided that if I was going to stop this downward trend, I could not put it off any longer.
The first place looking into was my emotional health and wellness. I realized that every area listed, all had one thing in common – me. I was the key. In order for me to become financially healthy, I had to change my relationship and my attitude towards money. In order for me to get physically healthy, I needed to move and become more active. In order for me to maintain my spirituality, I needed to become more active in church. Well, you get my point. I could not look at any one outside person or event, I needed to take ownership for the things that were happening and had happened in my life.
The NEXT STEP
In the process of studying, I found a 21-day online life coaching seminar from Vasavi Kumar. The class was titled Conquer – how fitting, I thought. I was moving right along through the assignments, completing the readings and answering the questions until I reached assignment #10, appropriately titled, Moving Past Your Past. In this assignment, Vasavi asked that we set aside a few hours to purge our “beast(s)”.” We only had to answer two questions, “What are you still holding on to?” and “What is the lesson you found?” How hard could this be, right? Wrong! Once I began writing number one, instantly I began to experience a sharp, shooting pain in my chest. I did not realize how broken my heart was until those past hurts resurfaced and boy did they ever! All of those painful memories that I thought were gone had somehow been suppressed; tucked away into the innermost crevices of my mind and heart. Memories of prior molestation and other emotional trauma were boldly staring me in the face, daring me to take them on.
Because I am a warrior, I stood up, spiritually and declared my victory. I started writing in vivid detail every horrible thing that I could remember purposed to destroy my childhood innocence. I wrote forgiveness prayers until something unique happened. I realized that one of my offenders were no longer alive for me to offer my forgiveness. This person died almost 6 years ago and I thought my memory died with her, but it didn’t. It was time to let go.
If you are in a place where you’re ready to purge some things from your life, bad memories, broken relationships, and unforgiveness, I encourage you to take the steps that proved beneficial to me:
- Be Committed – This purging process will prove to be a difficult one. Stay committed. Stay the course. Run the race with the speed of the tortoise and not the hare, otherwise you’ll miss what God has for you.
- Be Prepared – Lots of things will resurface. Stay active and present. It is hard, but you will be a better person in the end.
- Enjoy the ride – Let’s face it. Life is a journey. We all at some point in our lives will have to travel this road. Many will get off at the halfway point, few will go on to finish. YOU be a finisher! Do the hard thing and trust God for the outcome.