Finding Life in Loss by Crystal Marable
I can’t think of one person who enjoys losing something. In fact, when something is lost, we tend to panic while embarking on a mad search to find that which was lost. I know personally, when I lose something, I begin to back track my steps trying to remember what I did each moment up until I lost “it”. That can be agonizing because I will often find myself getting anxious, experiencing memory loss and deliriously trying to remember what in the world I did to lose that “thing”. It is my opinion that, in life, we all suffer two types of losses. We lose things that can be replaced, tangible items like a watch, a ring, a license, or a favorite hat. Losing these things can cause immediate distress, however they can be replaced if they are not found. Then there are those things we lose that cannot be replaced. What happens when we lose significant people or things in our lives? How do we turn the tragedy and pain of loss into a positive energy that will not only guide us through life, but will also help us to find joy in the midst of that loss? I have been answering those questions every day of my life since February 14, 2012, the day I lost my mother. For me, this loss has been the most significant and painful loss in my entire life. I don’t claim to be fully healed; however I can share five petals of strength that I have gained along my journey in the last twenty-two months:
I have learned to appreciate the here and now of life. The sudden loss of a loved one has taught me to cherish each moment, every minute and every second of my life.
I have learned to live fully and love fully. I take more time to not only tell my family and friends that I love them, I ensure that I show them how much I love them every chance that I get.
I have learned to be honest with myself and to do the things, be around the people, and to participate in the activities that genuinely make me happy, encourage me and inspire me.
I have learned to dream big, pursue my dreams and accomplish things that will leave a legacy of love and learning for my children, their children and generations to come.
I have learned to appreciate nature and God’s creations. I listen more for the sound of birds chirping, I marvel at the gentleness yet powerfulness of the ocean, the rain is refreshing, I soak in the warmth of the sun and butterflies amaze me…I appreciate life.
These are my petals, delicate but strong enough to hold a single tear drop. Allow your tears to rest on a petal that is meant to make you stronger, wiser, peaceful and content. I have lost the most significant person in my life. However, in my losing, I have gained understanding, faith, perseverance and strength. I am steadily gaining peace in my immediate surroundings and a peace in knowing that one day we will meet again.
Hopefully, the sharing of my journey to find joy in losing will help someone else who is grieving while trying to move forward to live life in peace, spiritually centered and with purpose. Be encouraged and remain faithful.